This last week I have been fixated on one adjective of motherhood– relentless. Motherhood is relentless. No rest for the weary. No moss under the feet. Just constant maintenance, perpetual change, and a twenty-four-hour, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year commitment.
I returned home from our third annual girls getaway and I haven’t been able to stop or take a breath since! I know you’ve had the same experience. Plus, Cubby, so your week included a new puppy and has undoubtedly added another exponent of relentless.
Sometimes I feel ready to take it on, to really Win-the-Day every day. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve dropped seven of the ten balls I’m supposed to be juggling. But I am amazed, impressed, and taught by the way you’ve taken on motherhood and the accompanying responsibility with joy, ease, research, and a beauty all your own.
In short, you’re killing it.
I wanted to write you before we met up in Arizona so that maybe you’d be reading this note on your flight home. If wishes were Alaskan King Salmon Fishes in the Nenana River… Lol.
Mel, you were the first mom I ever “dated”. I’m pretty sure those were your words when we met at that little bark chip park in Alexandria, Virginia. A park I hadn’t visited before or returned to since, and we’ve definitely experienced our fair share of playground life and its particulars.
I remember the first time I visited your sunny little condo in Park Fairfax. Those two chubby toddlers cruising around the couch, activity stand, and various toys. Just starting to talk more coherently, beginning to understand what playing, sharing, and verbalizing were all about– friendship, love, support, mutual admiration 🙂
Yes, it helped that our first babies, both boys, had been born three days apart in the Virgo-Libra cusp, and that they really did become fast friends. Friends to this day. But it was more. There was this genuine easiness about our time together. And when I say easiness, I don’t want this simplicity mistaken for smallness or frivolity because it continues to be one of the hallmarks of our friendship.
We simply enjoy spending time together, both in trips like these and co-parenting with our kids. You do it all so well, Melanie, and I’ve been privileged to witness this for almost seven years now.
Your desire to be a good mother was one of the first things that drew me to you. You weren’t shy about saying that this was what you were doing now. You were trying to be the best mom you could be to and for your growing family, and you were doing it! You were executing this role with grace, and polish, and an ease I felt I could only DREAM of possessing!
As a new mom myself, I was constantly thinking, reading, watching, and looking for ways to be a more effective parent. I was okay, but I so wanted to be better. To give my children the life they deserved and were designed to have– meaning that they were loved, cared for, supported, taught, disciplined, and encouraged in the healthiest way I could muster.
I feel as though you were my tutor. Not that this role was self-appointed by you or me. Not that we signed a contract or verbally agreed that this was part of our friendship. It just happened. Naturally.
You’ve often claimed that you are very even-keeled. Never overly passionate or consumed by too much of any one thing. This is such a true piece of you, this level-headed interface with the world around you. You’ve explained it in terms of running, most recently. You have never been a runner. You have enjoyed walking, running, jogging, biking, hiking, and moving your body in a myriad of ways. But you have never been so passionate about running that you wanted to run everyday, or run a marathon, or felt that you needed running as an outlet.
I hope I’ve described that well. You simply don’t have an obsessive, addictive, or dangerously passionate personality. But you DO have a PASSION for MOTHERHOOD. You are an expert to boot. I wish I had a count of how many times I shared the 3 day potty training manual you gave me when our first little boys were ready.
I wish I had a dime for every bit of wisdom and insight you have given me over the years. I’d be rich! I have loved sharing the ups and downs of this dance called adulting. It is interesting, fun, and it sure can be complicated and hard at times. I have always shared with you knowing that you would have a thoughtful aspect or perspective to add to any conversation.
Not only are you all about motherhood. You are really, really good at it!!! Your passion shows, your feelings toward that role are open, obvious, and uplifting to others. You are a tribute to the growing and raising of little humans.
Melanie Sorensen, you are a virtuous woman. You are the salt of the Earth. You are made of the best stuff, and you share that kindness, goodness, care, and grounded foundation with those around you effortlessly– free of charge and free of judgement. I am a lucky goose to call you best friend, confidant, and mother mentor.
P.S. Melanie wrote an awesome post about friendship, motherhood, and the awesome responsibity of parenting full -time.
You can read Melanie’s post here.