As much as I drive the content here on Refined + Rugged, in the activity department there are two other power players who have some say-so in what I post here on the site.

Case in point– The 20 Minute Murse. My oldest asked me months ago, “Mom, I really want to learn how to sew. Can we sew something together?” I won’t go into all the ins and outs of my sewing history (or why I don’t really love to sew), but his desire didn’t end there.

He started to talk about sewing a lot. Like every other day. Now I realize that this was also a mild form of manipulation. My kiddos are smart. They know that each of them has a soft spot in their parents’ hearts. So it probably didn’t come as a surprise to my little P when I told him I would borrow a sewing machine and we would do a project together.

I scanned the inter-webs for kid friendly sewing projects and settled on this one from Purl Soho, which ROCKS by the way!! The instructions are easy to understand, the sewing is relatively simple, and I have to admit that the time element (20 minutes) really had me going!

Flash forward to the fabric center of a certain Big Box Store on a Saturday. The boys took less than 2 minutes to choose their fabric and the ribbon for the handles. I was jonesed because the project seemed to be coming together smoothly already. A sewing machine from my dear friend was waiting for us at home– bobbin wound, needle raised, foot up– we were ready.

I asked one of the sales associates if  there was someone who would come over to cut our fabric. We waited for 20 minutes and no one came. I searched out another sales associate in an adjoining isle and asked if they could cut some fabric. They also said they would put out a page on their headset.

10 minutes later, no fabric person. No person period. I did hear an all call over the intercom for a clean-up on the toy isle. Toys were right next to fabric, so I craned my neck in that direction, hoping to catch someone’s eye who would help us. Walking toward a gathering group of salespersons, I saw the puddle of bubble soap on the floor. No less than seven– that’s 7 people showed up to clean up the bubbles.

Still no one came over to help us with fabric. I asked another sales associate if they could help me with some fabric, and she said, “Oh, I heard the page. No one came?” “NO.” I replied flatly. “I’ll make another call,” she replied.

Another 5 minutes passed. No human arrived to cut our fabric. I pulled the scissors down from the shelf. Cut off half a yard of fabric, and walked, with the original bolts of fabric to the checkout stand. There it took the sales associate ANOTHER 15 minutes to find someone  to go to the back of the store and properly price the fabric. The line extended and people looked sufficiently annoyed behind me.

The moral of this story is: if it takes you more than 50 minutes to GET THE FABRIC you’d like to use for this project, it will take you MUCH longer than 20 minutes to accomplish this tote. I wish you the best of luck at whichever fabric counter you encounter! 🙂

Instructions to this fabulous tote bag are detailed below. Happy Friday! And happy sewing to you all!!!!

XX, Megan

For one tote bag you will need:

1/2 Yard of fabric

2 yards of cotton webbing or ribbon

Cotton thread to match your tote fabric

Measure your fabric to 16 inches tall and 14 inches wide. You can make your fabric into two panels or you can fold your fabric in half (as I did) to eliminate a seam.

Pin the handle pieces to the top RAW EDGE of the right side of each panel 3-inches from the sides. (Make sure you pin the handles to the RIGHT SIDE of the fabric, because you are then going to turn the handles down and eventually sew the fabric to fabric making the top of your bag much stronger.)

The raw edges of the handles should match up with the raw edge of the top of the panel so the handles will be facing down as shown in the picture above. Make sure the handles aren’t twisted.

Do a zig-zag stich across the top of the entire bag, sewing each handle to the fabric. Then turn the fabric down 1 and a 1/2 inches and sew two seams– one along the top and the bottom of that one-and-a-half inch band. 1/4 inch from the top and 1/4 inch from the bottom along each top.

Remember you should have two tops at this point, and if you are a sewing dunce like me, remember not to sew them together!!! Plus, if any of this is confusing, which is a very realistic proposition, Purl Soho has MUCH BETTER directions for this entire process!!)

Now you are ready to sew the sides of your bag! Make sure right side faces right side on the INSIDE of your bag. Then pin the edges of your bag in 1/2 inch increments. Then go to town! This part was fun, and Little P really was able to sew the entire outside seam of his bag.

Ta-DA! The finished project. I really ended up doing most of the work for my 4-year-old. We had an incident with the sewing pedal that caused me to re-evaluate his readiness to use a sewing machine. But, of course, you will know your child better than I. I read several blog posts where moms had their children using a sewing machine as young as three– yes 3!! If you do this project with your wee ones, I’d love to hear about and see your results!

 

Dear Melanie,

This last week I have been fixated on one adjective of motherhood– relentless. Motherhood is relentless. No rest for the weary. No moss under the feet. Just constant maintenance, perpetual change, and a twenty-four-hour, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year commitment.

I returned home from our third annual girls getaway and I haven’t been able to stop or take a breath since! I know you’ve had the same experience. Plus, Cubby, so your week included a new puppy and has undoubtedly added another exponent of relentless.

Sometimes I feel ready to take it on, to really Win-the-Day every day. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve dropped seven of the ten balls I’m supposed to be juggling. But I am amazed, impressed, and taught by the way you’ve taken on motherhood and the accompanying responsibility with joy, ease, research, and a beauty all your own.

In short, you’re killing it.

I wanted to write you before we met up in Arizona so that maybe you’d be reading this note on your flight home. If wishes were Alaskan King Salmon Fishes in the Nenana River… Lol.

Mel, you were the first mom I ever “dated”. I’m pretty sure those were your words when we met at that little bark chip park in Alexandria, Virginia. A park I hadn’t visited before or returned to since, and we’ve definitely experienced our fair share of playground life and its particulars.

I remember the first time I visited your sunny little condo in Park Fairfax. Those two chubby toddlers cruising around the couch, activity stand, and various toys. Just starting to talk more coherently, beginning to understand what playing, sharing, and verbalizing were all about– friendship, love, support, mutual admiration 🙂

Yes, it helped that our first babies, both boys, had been born three days apart in the Virgo-Libra cusp, and that they really did become fast friends. Friends to this day. But it was more. There was this genuine easiness about our time together. And when I say easiness, I don’t want this simplicity mistaken for smallness or frivolity because it continues to be one of the hallmarks of our friendship.

We simply enjoy spending time together, both in trips like these and co-parenting with our kids. You do it all so well, Melanie, and I’ve been privileged to witness this for almost seven years now.

Your desire to be a good mother was one of the first things that drew me to you. You weren’t shy about saying that this was what you were doing now. You were trying to be the best mom you could be to and for your growing family, and you were doing it! You were executing this role with grace, and polish, and an ease I felt I could only DREAM of possessing!

As a new mom myself, I was constantly thinking, reading, watching, and looking for ways to be a more effective parent. I was okay, but I so wanted to be better. To give my children the life they deserved and were designed to have– meaning that they were loved, cared for, supported, taught, disciplined, and encouraged in the healthiest way I could muster.

I feel as though you were my tutor. Not that this role was self-appointed by you or me. Not that we signed a contract or verbally agreed that this was part of our friendship. It just happened. Naturally.

You’ve often claimed that you are very even-keeled. Never overly passionate or consumed by too much of any one thing. This is such a true piece of you, this level-headed interface with the world around you. You’ve explained it in terms of running, most recently. You have never been a runner. You have enjoyed walking, running, jogging, biking, hiking, and moving your body in a myriad of ways. But you have never been so passionate about running that you wanted to run everyday, or run a marathon, or felt that you needed running as an outlet.

I hope I’ve described that well. You simply don’t have an obsessive, addictive, or dangerously passionate personality. But you DO have a PASSION for MOTHERHOOD. You are an expert to boot. I wish I had a count of how many times I shared the 3 day potty training manual you gave me when our first little boys were ready.

I wish I had a dime for every bit of wisdom and insight you have given me over the years. I’d be rich! I have loved sharing the ups and downs of this dance called adulting. It is interesting, fun, and it sure can be complicated and hard at times. I have always shared with you knowing that you would have a thoughtful aspect or perspective to add to any conversation.

Not only are you all about motherhood. You are really, really good at it!!! Your passion shows, your feelings toward that role are open, obvious, and uplifting to others. You are a tribute to the growing and raising of little humans.

Melanie Sorensen, you are a virtuous woman. You are the salt of the Earth. You are made of the best stuff, and you share that kindness, goodness, care, and grounded foundation with those around you effortlessly– free of charge and free of judgement. I am a lucky goose to call you best friend, confidant, and mother mentor.

Love Always,

Megan

P.S. Melanie wrote an awesome post about friendship, motherhood, and the awesome responsibity of parenting full -time.

You can read Melanie’s post here.

Dear A & L,

I didn’t ask you if it was okay to use your names when writing this letter, hence the initials. And I don’t want you to feel self-conscious, or feel as though your grief and sadness at the loss of your beloved yellow lab Alta is at all on display.

I want you to know how sorry I am for her passing. I want you to know that our hearts stretch and reach out to you during this time. It isn’t simply difficult for you, it is so very difficult for your children. As you said to me, they simply just do not understand why she had to go, what this means, how death happens.

They don’t conceive of why Alta couldn’t stay with you forever. Why she won’t be back to stand watch at the end of their sick bed, or chase crickets through the long grass, or lay in the shade of the trampoline on the ranch.

This bond between us humans and our animals is much, much deeper than I imagined. Especially with a puppy like Alta who really becomes like a first child. If you had said some of those things to me– about how deep the love between a person and their puppy runs, or how they become your family, or how they give so much love to you that is irreplaceable– a few years before we got Bailey, I’d have smiled to myself and thought otherwise.

This territory is HARD. Maybe loosing an animal companion is hard because we know of the inevitability of this event– most dogs will never live as long as their human counterparts. But that doesn’t make it any easier when they depart. Does it make it harder?

I have come to believe strongly that all dogs truly do go to heaven. Your words of love and tenderness toward Alta have swelled my heart. I believe, as you do, that our dear companions are taken home to that Creator who gave them life, and that we are reunited with them as we cross the bar from this life into the next. Maybe Alfred Lord Tennyson said it best:

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

The mood this Monday is low– the clouds hang heavy on the mountains, the rain falls quietly and cold. I hope you feel and know that heaven weeps for and with you, too. This love you had is not a small or forgotten thing. Passing time may not ever make it better, or right. There is only the hope of happy meetings in the great beyond.

These seasons and changes, these passings and hopes of restoration– they hit deeply on the nerve of life. Death teaches us the importance of life. It causes us to look to our God and hold those we love closer. Such a lesson never comes easily, and almost always has that heavy, tear-born cry for one more day, one more moment in the sunshine.

May you meet Alta with our Pilot ‘face to face’ in the next saga of this journey– the continuance of life feels sure to me. May you find sweet and comforting solace for your sadness, tender hearts, and pain.

Love,
Megan

Dear Family Dinner Meal Planner,

I am writing this letter to say THANK YOU! I am writing because, not only have you changed family dinner for myself and my family by offering The Six O’clock Scramble Family Meal Planner, you have changed our entire LIVES!!!!!

Just yesterday my youngest son (4 years old) declared, “I was born with an appetite!” I laughed out loud at his mini-bout of braggadocio. He is right. This is the child whose first pediatrician said, “I have never seen a bigger breast-fed baby!”

That kid was born hungry. He is strong, healthy, and heavier than two of most other kids his age put together! I jest. He has also been my biggest challenge when it comes to eating, food, snacks, meal-time, etc. Here on my blog I have fondly referred to him as Chicken Nugget, because it seemed that after his love for mother’s milk the only other food he would request was that– chicken nuggets.

But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Our story of family dinner– and my gratitude and thanks to you, Aviva, for starting, and growing, and sharing, and perfecting The Six O’clock Scramble— began when we got married back in 2008.

Two things were apparent immediately after we tied the knot: first, we needed to have meal plans each week. And second, I didn’t have nearly the repertoire of meals or food prep skills to make dinner-time delicious or enjoyable. In fact, I made some pretty horrible meals!

I’ll never forget one dinner. My husband came home from his demanding publishing job– tired, hungry, ready for a good dinner. I handed him a bowl and he exclaimed, “I love macaroni and cheese from the box!” One bite, and the excitement on his face morphed into a confused, trying-to-hide-disgust facade.

“What is this?” He mumbled through the noodles. The dish was indeed macaroni and cheese from a box, souped up with a standard can of Campbell’s Tomato. I had grown up on this stuff. I was actually crushed he didn’t seem to like it. I was actually starting to cry. “Honey, I just didn’t know what was different about the flavor!” He exclaimed, trying to backpedal. But he was right. It was a horrible meal!

I regrouped. I put together a weekly dinner plan that went something like this: Monday- Greek Salad, Tuesday- Tacos, Wednesday- Boxed Pad Thai, Thursday- Chicken, Friday- Pizza, Weekend– Whatever (probably way too much fast food!!!!). I stuck to this plan exclusively, almost obsessively. I don’t remember how long this went on. It may have even been for a year or more.

The same thing week after week, dinner after dinner. It worked for us for a long time. But finally my husband had had enough. He told me that he couldn’t stand eating Pad Thai for even one more meal. This was sad because, previous to our weekly menu, it had been one of his all-time favorite meals. Now he couldn’t even see it on a restaurant menu without gagging.

Neither of us had the stomach for Greek Salad anymore, and we didn’t really even want to visit our favorite taco stand because we ate them so frequently. We needed HELP! This was probably the darkest time in our quest for family dinner. We moved to a Sunday planning model where I would acridly ask him what he wanted for dinner that week. He would throw out some ideas, some of which I would shoot down, some that I refused to make, a few that I would agree to cook up.

Once I asked my husband what the hardest part of marriage was for him and he replied without missing a beat, “Planning meals.” We hated it. The problems were real, and I now realize they are faced by many, many families. First, it was hard to find meals that were not just delicious or palate appealing, but healthy, as well as time manageable!

Not only that, but I also wanted to set the example of eating healthy, whole, well-balanced meals for my growing family. Our oldest son had now been in a picture for over a year, and I wanted to make sure I was feeding his growing body with the nutrients he needed instead of throwing a few re-heated frozen peas onto his high-chair tray and calling it good.

I could go on, but suffice it to say that AFTER we were introduced to The Scramble, it changed our lives so much that I once found myself calling in to a News Radio program that was asking for dinner planning comments– stories, nightmares, solutions. The Six O’clock Scramble was a veritable SEA CHANGE in our family dinner story.

We found The Scramble through my sister and her husband. In truth, when they told us that they were subscribing to a meal planning service we laughed out loud. In front of them. Yes, we laughed in their faces! Rude. But here’s where we had to eat humble pie.

My sister encouraged me to use her subscription for a two weeks. She couldn’t say enough good about having weekly dinner menus at her finger tips, and a grocery list with EVERYTHING you needed to taser that grocery shopping excursion out in ONE TRIP!!! They also loved the variety of meals they were eating. A different meal every night! Imagine that!

To top it ALL off, the meals were FAST, taking 30 minutes or less to prep. It really did sound TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE! We took her offer and used her subscription for two weeks. I was raving. My husband was smiling. When we sat down to evaluate our impressions at the end of two weeks he said, “I’m in. I haven’t eaten even one meal that wasn’t a 9 or a 10 on a 10 point scale.”

The very next day my sister surprised me with a 6 month Scramble Subscription for my birthday. The rest is history. History that has carried us over three years and hundreds of meals later with The Six O’Clock Scramble.

Aviva Goldfarb, you are a revolutionary. You are a woman of the people. You have enable families EVERYWHERE to share in the joy of family dinner! You have changed our lives beyond any other single decision we have made together as a couple. Bold words, but now as I sit at the dinner table surrounded by my husband and our two beautiful boys a peace and joy come into my heart for that moment every. single. day.

And when you ask that same hungry four-year-old what he had for dinner last night you might be shocked to hear he had Hot and Sour Soup without a chicken nugget supplement! 🙂 That same sweet little man, when asked at our family dinner discussions, almost always cites NOW, meaning right here, right now, this moment– FAMILY DINNER– as his favorite part of his day.

Because of you, Aviva, it is MINE TOO!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart (and the bottom of my belly)!

XX, Megan

P.S.

Aviva posted this video on The Scramble’s Facebook page a few weeks ago. I watched and cried. THIS is why family dinner is so very important! ❤

P.P.S

Many of the meals I post here on my blog are from The Scramble. Here’s what you need to know to subscribe. The Scramble is a meal planning service to which you can subscribe here. For a fantastic price you will receive 8 weekly meals which means 8 recipes (main course plus a side dish), complete grocery list, the ability to tweak the number of people you are making for, and full nutrition facts.

PLUS tips as to how best to PREP your meal beforehand, add a punch of FLAVOR, and how to SLOW COOK almost every recipe if you’re especially slammed that night. This wonderful service really does live up to it’s name. You can come home at 6 p.m. and be sitting down to a DELICIOUS, HEALTHY, HOME COOKED meal by 6:30 p.m. most nights.

Little M and I did this project a day ago, and after a long hiatus from more kid-centric posts it was fun to get back in the saddle and have some fun with this little fellow!!

We did this project with Kiwi Crate, but let’s talk about how you can recreate this entire project at home with just one trip to the dollar store 🙂

For the bird’s eggs and nest you will need:

1. Cardboard Eggs
2. Paint
3. Glue
4. String
5. A plastic or reusable bowl you’re not afraid to cover with gluey string!
6. Two other smaller bowls you can fill with glue and paint

For the bird mask and wings you will need:

1. Mask with with elastic
2. Feathers
3. Orange construction paper
4. Hot glue gun (we used some little glue tabs included with this Kiwi Crate)
5. Two large piece of felt with holes for threading elastic in and out. (Shaped as wings if you want to get fancy!)
6. Long piece of elastic (at least as long as your child’s “wingspan”– tip of finger to tip of finger across the back)

Make sure you have a mat or a paper bag to cover your workspace 🙂

Start by painting your eggs. Fill a small bowl with paint. Set them aside to dry. Then take about 3 feet of string (or more). Fill the other small bowl with glue. Put your string into the glue. Mix well.

Pull the string out of the glue, and then place it on the downside of the plastic bowl (so you will turn your bowl upside dos and pull the string over it. Careful, your hands will be sticky!!) Set your nest, still on the  round of the bowl aside to dry.

Take your mask and turn it over. Affix the feathers above the eyes in any design you like. Cut out a bill or a beak from the orange/yellow construction paper. Glue this to the back side of the make. Let the mask dry.

Last, lay your wings out as they will lay across your child’s back. Take one end of the elastic and tie a loop with a knot at the bottom in one end big enough for your child’s thumb.

Theead the rest of the elastic through both wings. Finish by tying a loop with a knit in the bottom at the other end.

Little bird’s costume is ready to fly! Have a beautiful Friday evening and a stellar Sayurday!!!

XX, Megan

Note: The nest, and eggs are ready to go once everything is dried (the nest takes AT LEAST overnight to dry fully.) You can subscribe to Kiwi Crate here.